(no subject)

[worm-dancer.livejournal.com]

THE DATING PROFILES MEME



1. Post as your character.
2. Other characters will reply with a "dating profile" they have written for your character, based on what they know of them.
3. Hideousness ensues.
4. ?????
5. PROFIT!

EXAMPLE:
In Meteo Spiderbeam's thread, Mirys tags: "Complete waste of life seeks any warm hole to take to bed with. Attractiveness and intelligence not a factor, as I have no standards."

taken from junefield

Comments

Meto Spiderbeam

[the_measurers]

you asked for it

[mirys.livejournal.com]

Complete waste of life seeks any warm hole to take to bed with. Attractiveness and intelligence not a factor, as I have no standards.

Enitan

[the_measurers]

The Protean Berserker

[the_measurers]

Why would you even

lolwhat

[lt-guido-talbot.livejournal.com]

Alien lifeform seeks any warm hole to insert itself into, for the purposes of reproduction.

Attractiveness and brains not required, as my offspring WILL EAT YOU ALIVE.

Chef Glr'Brrrnglorp

[the_measurers]

Re: Chef Glr'Brrrnglorp

[incesteyes.livejournal.com]

Several-tentacled Lovecraftian beast loves cooking, seeks submissive buy named Yuri Lowell to make do all the work. Some tentacle rape required.

Vercybertrix

[the_measurers]

Zamfuter The Eldritch

[the_measurers]

[worm-dancer.livejournal.com]

[homeoftheheart.livejournal.com]

[2sexy4myuplift.livejournal.com]

[lt-guido-talbot.livejournal.com]

Lecherous dolphin seeks willing partner for sexual explanation.

Would prefer attractive humanoid females above the age of consent.

[2sexy4myuplift.livejournal.com]

Explanation?! Well sometimes I do have to give an explanation. Or an apology. Some day i'll find a woman who'll stick around!

[lt-guido-talbot.livejournal.com]

I know I typed in "exploration".

I attribute the replacement to the screwed-up nature of the station's computers - most specifically, the autocomplete function oon the terminal I was using.

[moebndgeupyours.livejournal.com]

[itwaspoison.livejournal.com]

Delicious transgender seeks sexual partner(s) for experimentation and discovery of how to have a cock. Reproductive orifice not necessarily necessary.

[allmylove_inspace]

 

[eternal-dolly.livejournal.com]

[incesteyes.livejournal.com]

Gothic exhibitionist dolly seeks master, must love watching and ownership play. Desires to be taken care of, but will not take shit from anyone.

[eternal-dolly.livejournal.com]

You are quite correct, my dear Cain. I'm quite surprised you know me so well after our brief meeting.

[digital-overlay.livejournal.com]

[makes-you-scary.livejournal.com]

[itwaspoison.livejournal.com]

Sexy-but-slightly-cold doctor will put you in stitches! Seeking necrophiliac and/or other beyond-death for "experimentation." May add set of arms upon request.

this can only go badly.

[lest_ye_become]

Re: this can only go badly.

[sevenapples.livejournal.com]

Pushy little twat who thinks she knows everything and has fake dominance streak seeks to be eaten alive by giant wolf, will relocate closer to same. Tastes like angsty teenager.

[lest_ye_become]

. . .

[mirys.livejournal.com]

[incesteyes.livejournal.com]

Cute elf-like with strong personality seeks reasonably intelligent escapist to share time with. Will not talk about past, will not ask about yours. Positively magical~

1/2

[mirys.livejournal.com]

..... Yeah, that sounds mostly ri—

[mirys.livejournal.com]

Hey, wait a second! Since when would I describe myself as "cute" or "magical"?

[Because, actually, she wouldn't.

So in other words, you've gone and embarrassed her just a bit, Cain. Nice work.]

Protoman

[statue-to-raise.livejournal.com]

oh he's gonna hate me for this

:|

[inheritsthesky.livejournal.com]

|:

[allflashnophoto.livejournal.com]

[sardine-osiris.livejournal.com]

Useless Goa'uld who labors under the delusion that he is not all pathetic and annoying to deal with. Am looking for someone to allow me to pretend to be in control and in charge since I can't handle reality.

[allflashnophoto.livejournal.com]

How amusing that you describe yourself instead of me.

[sardine-osiris.livejournal.com]

How amusing you insist on clinging to your illusions.

[allflashnophoto.livejournal.com]

Quite the contrary, but I would not expect you to comprehend the concept of adaptability.

[sardine-osiris.livejournal.com]

Funny you should say that when it is you who insists you won't be destroyed along with the other pathetic annoyances in the galaxy.

[allflashnophoto.livejournal.com]

Can you say the same?

[sardine-osiris.livejournal.com]

No, I cannot.

[oflovenbeauty.livejournal.com]

[sardine-osiris.livejournal.com]

[allflashnophoto.livejournal.com]

Submissive disgrace of a Goa'uld seeks dominating queen. Must be powerful and have resources to put at my command so there can be a purpose for my continued existence.

[sevenapples.livejournal.com]

Wolf seeks apples. That's it.

[worm-dancer.livejournal.com]

That's it? No other needs?

/trollface.jpg

[sevenapples.livejournal.com]

Wolf seeks peaches, too. You're right.

two can play at that game

[worm-dancer.livejournal.com]

And yet nothing for the peach that's most important. Did a paramour of yours arrive on board?

Rufus Shinra

[shinrasin.livejournal.com]