the "what the hell, canon?" meme

[fightingbishie.livejournal.com]

Stolen from bandagesboobs at bistromatics

"We all have crazy, disturbing things that our canons have in some way.
So why don't we have fun and "wtf?" about it together?!

Not a meme, persay. But just, yep.

TALK ABOUT CRAZY STUFF?!?!"

Comments

Dune

[worm-dancer.livejournal.com]

Hoooo boy. In addition to the fact that the economy of the galaxy is dependant on the excretion of giant worms on which brave, manly men ride and attract with rythm (http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/HoYay)...And the leaders of the galaxy settle disputes with knife fights...

-There's the sex hypnotism (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bene_gesserit#Sexual_talents)

-"There was an adult beefswelling in his loins and he felt his mouth open, holding, clinging to the girder-shape of ecstasy. Then a sigh, a lingering groundswelling sweetness, a collapse." Yes, it's exactly what it sounds like.

-Only major gay character? A floating, bloated, scheming pedo. (http://dune.wikia.com/wiki/Vladimir_Harkonnen)

I guess what i'm trying to say is, Frank Herbert was a dirty old man.

And that's not even counting the WTF that comes from the non-canon movie (milking cats, weirding modules) and "sequel/prequel/andquel" books by Brian Herbert/Kevin J Anderson (Bene Gesserit Guilt Sorcery, Paul and Chani are alive at the end)

[saner-sephiroth.livejournal.com]

This one time I stabbed this spiky-haired kid, and he picked me up by the sword. For some reason I didn't let go so he threw me off a ledge. Why didn't I just let go of the darn thing?

(oh wait that hasn't happened yet)

[fightingbishie.livejournal.com]

Then you started calling a severed head 'mom'!

[saner-sephiroth.livejournal.com]

And another thing! What the heck was Sephiroth going to do with that head anyway? Build a robot spider to attach it to?

[fightingbishie.livejournal.com]

Groom it. There's nothing that sephie hates more than split ends.

Franken Fran

[makes-you-scary.livejournal.com]

Where to even begin with this...

-Almost all of Fran's various horrible creations count, but if I had to choose I'd go with the bio-engineered, killer, amusement park mascots or the girl whose head she put on a gigantic caterpillar.

-Some of the nonsensical diseases she deals with, most notably the woman whose best friend's dying curse caused her face to appear as a tumor like growth all over the girl's body. That chapter ended with a baby made from the two girls DNA. Yes, it makes as much sense as it sounds.

-Fran accidentally creating the Flying Spaghetti Monster.

-The girl who wanted to look like a shojo character was not particularly odd, but I found it profoundly disturbing.

[standaloneshell.livejournal.com]

At one point we had to solve a crime involving novelty dolls being used as masturbatory aides because they'd been imbued with the consciousness of little girls; the idea being that doing this made them better at being the cybernetic equivalent of a blow-up doll.

Also, at the time, I was a disembodied consciousness living on the internet.

Stalking my former second in command.

It's romantic. I swear.

[darkbishie.livejournal.com]

I destroyed a giant sky-devouring squid with a sword of light so big it could be seen from space. Said sword was designed and built by a fifteen-year-old girl, and was powered by the souls of countless long-dead monstery-things. The alternative was letting the final boss destroy the squid-thing using the lives of every human on the planet.

There are also equally canonical pairings between myself and the following: an incredibly naive princess, a blue-haired Amazon elf-girl, the fifteen-year-old girl who built the giant light-sword, my much more heroic best friend, a sleezy old man, and the final boss.

Did I mention that my dog is blue, fights with a dagger, and carries a pipe in his mouth? He is the most badass dog ever.